


Lag

by minorthirds



Category: Final Fantasy XIII, Final Fantasy XIII-2
Genre: Alternate Universe - MMORPG, Alternate Universe - Modern, Gen, M/M, belated tumblr crosspost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-16
Updated: 2016-01-16
Packaged: 2018-05-14 05:39:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5731438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minorthirds/pseuds/minorthirds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Noel flipped the switch just inside his front door and nothing happened, he knew he was in for it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lag

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Shamera](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shamera/gifts).



> this used to be on my old blog, except i realized recently that i, uh, deleted that blog, so i thought about uploading this fic here
> 
> i really don't remember when Shamera sent me the prompt for this ficlet, LOL, but it was something along the lines of "noehopu, MMORPG guild au, they don't realize they're in the same raid party until one of them starts yelling at the boss". so i think i caught the spirit of it
> 
> but it's fun and that's all that matters!

When Noel flipped the switch just inside his front door and nothing happened, he knew he was in for it.

The thunderstorm had come through while he’d been at work - he recalled the lights flickering ominously for about a four-minute period, during which customers held their parcels closer to themselves as they hurried between aisles - which meant he was lucky there was nothing but cheap beer in his fridge  _or_  his freezer.

Though while the thought of a beer and his bed were both enticing, he had plans tonight. Real plans, honest-to-God plans that he actually needed to have pants on for.

Or rather that his power being out necessitated pants for, and  _goddamnit_ he hated piggybacking off cheap wifi that left him lagging just enough that he always ended up casting three of the same buff in a row on his confused guildmates.

The clock was steadily ticking down towards eight P.M., so he forewent a change of clothes, grabbed his laptop bag, and set off down the street towards the cafe at the end of the block, scrolling through the raid strategy their party leader had sent out an hour ago.

He felt sorry for the poor fuck who was in charge of party healing - the section was at least three times as long as the ones pertaining to melee DPS and support magic, which were his two specialties. Maybe he ought to equip a heal spell to his hotbar for this one just in case IdiotHero fucked up and lost aggro on some of the mobs.

To be fair, he always lost aggro for some reason or another, but DirectorHope was damn good at covering his ass, even if he was never quite happy about it.

Noel felt his pockets to make sure he’d grabbed his earbuds; he knew he had his mic packed, but he didn’t want to be That Guy yelling into a mouthpiece in public, so he figured he ought to hear and not be heard tonight or whatever.

At seven fifty-two he ordered the largest Red Bull lemonade they’d make him and took up residence in the back corner of the cafe, nodding amiably at the guy settled in the booth behind him. The guy didn’t nod back, focused on whatever he has on his laptop screen.

When he signed in - 7:54 PM - he was assaulted with a sudden notification, a rather heated demand from SoldierSavior to get his ass into the group chat  _now_ or  _face annihilation_ , or something. He tried sifting through the messages that popped up in his logs as he clicked the accept party invite button, but most of them were incomprehensible; IdiotHero had recently been half-keysmashing about something or other, and YunFangOldHag was setting him straight about their party setup for the incoming raid.

 **YunFangOldHag** : just keep spamming provoke  
**YunFangOldHag** : keep spamming provoke and then steelguard in between  
**YunFangOldHag** : i wont be tanking this dungeon im squishier than you and were already short a dps because  
[  **lasthunter**  has logged in. ]  
**YunFangOldHag** : well  
**YunFangOldHag** : im still squishier than you

 _sorry about that,_ Noel typed to the group chat at large.  _power’s out at home._

The chat dinged twice.

 **DirectorHope** : A thunderstorm came through here, too.  
**DirectorHope** : Thankfully my roommate’s job has good wifi.

“Alright, head count,” SoldierSavior said over mic, and Noel dialed his volume down about ten notches - the woman’s authoritative voice could cut through steel when she was in a good mood, but she seemed especially business tonight. “Say ‘Aye’ if you have mic capabilities tonight, type ‘Aye’ if you don’t.”

A chorus of “Aye”s rang out, about four or five voices - Noel could pick out the distinctive twang of YunFangOldHag’s voice, and the similar accent that belonged to goddessprayer, both of which IdiotHero’s loud gravel nearly drowned out.

 **DirectorHope** : Aye  
**lasthunter** : i  
**Eternalove** : aye!  
**AcePilot** : aye

“Serah!” IdiotHero yelled - downright yelled, Noel’s ears ringing in protest - into his mic. “Why aren’t you on mic?”

 **Eternalove** : i told you - i forgot it! i’m not playing at home tonight!

“Cancel the raid,” IdiotHero joked, cracking his fingers. Or at least it sounded like he was, otherwise he was getting some shitty sound quality. “Serah’s not on mic. I don’t have her voice for motivation.”

“Yeah, yeah,” YunFangOldHag droned into her headset. “I get it. You two lovebirds are about as subtle as a public handjob.”

“Aren’t you a lesbian?”

“It’s a figure of speech,” she bit back, and Noel couldn’t help but sigh, even though a fond smile was creeping across his face. “Now let’s get this show on the road, yeah?”

 **lasthunter** : i second that  
**DirectorHope** : Hold on.  
**DirectorHope** : I wanted to finish reading Light’s notes.

“There’s a lot there, but it’s easier than it looks,” SoldierSavior said. “Most of it is panic direction in case our idiot hero loses aggro.”

“Which he does every time,” YunFangOldHag responded.

“Precisely.”

 **Eternalove** : hey, be nice!  
**Eternalove** : he does the best he can

“That’s what — sad,” he heard YunFangOldHag respond, but most of her reply was obstructed by a series of dings.

 **DirectorHope** : Aggro is broken in this game.  
**DirectorHope** : On the one hand I don’t blame him  
**DirectorHope** : On the other, it’s his fault for playing a tank

Noel couldn’t help but smile.

 **lasthunter** : you study the mechanics often?  
**DirectorHope** : looking for alternatives for when I get sick of healing you two

 _ouch!,_ he typed, just as SoldierSavior spoke into her mic. “No fighting,” she said. “This is a harder raid on the best of days, and with three of you playing in places you don’t usually, I want to be sure we won’t wipe. Hope, is your internet okay?”

 **DirectorHope** : It should be.  
**DirectorHope** : I just need IdiotHero and lasthunter to stay within heal range.

“You heard the man,” YunFangOldHag grinned into the mic. “Or rather read him. Okay, gang, move out.”

“I just equipped some heal spells,” he heard goddessprayer say for the first time tonight, “but they’re  _only_ for Hope in case he gets into a tough situation, because I need my mana. You got that?”

Her high-pitched voice was hardly commanding, but IdiotHero responded with a “yes, ma’am” that was utterly lacking in sarcasm.

Noel was about to respond in kind, but he typed it instead - though given the last message in the chatbox, he couldn’t help but laugh as he did.

[8:04:37 PM]  **DirectorHope** : I just need IdiotHero and lasthunter to stay within heal range.  
[8:05:22 PM]  **lasthunter** : yes ma’am

Apparently YunFangOldHag saw the same thing, because she took over the mic during the warp cutscene to say, “hey, petition to respond to Hope’s orders only with ‘yes, ma’am’ or ‘no, ma’am’ tonight.”

“Enough,” SoldierSavior said, but there was the hint of a laugh in her voice.

 **DirectorHope** : I can’t stand any of you.  
**lasthunter** : sorry ma’am  
**lasthunter** : we’ll do better ma’am

Noel’s face-splitting grin and the vague chuckling noises over the chat didn’t mask the agonized groan that sounded louder than usual.

“Hope, I thought you didn’t have a mic tonight,” goddessprayer said as the dungeon rendered.

 **DirectorHope** : I’m in public, but I have it plugged in.

“I hope none of you are planning to yell ‘Get fucked, asshole!’ loud enough to blow a speaker again,” SoldierSavior said. “I don’t want our best healer to lose an eardrum.”

“Scout’s honor,” IdiotHero promised, though Noel was pretty sure it had been Fang who’d blown out her own speaker.

 **AcePilot** : alright what i miss  
**AcePilot** : you damn kids clogging up the chatbox again while i’m eating a sandwich

“Try to keep up, old man,” goddessprayer giggled into the mic.

The dungeon’s name finally flashed up on screen, though the slow camera pan across the mouth of the giant cave system lagged a little. Not a good sign. When MAH’HABARA SUBTERRA faded from view, they regained control of their characters, and SoldierSavior spoke over the mic one more time.

“Alright, since some of you didn’t read the notes I drew up,” she groused, “here’s the basics. There are a lot of small mobs, but nothing too killer up until the miniboss. Hecatoncheir is likely going to focus Fang and Vanille, so don’t bother trying to pull aggro, just go in for the kill. Any Puddings we encounter are flan class, they’re weak to magic - Hope, don’t bother healing for those, none of us are squishy enough to fall to a hit or two from one. Just go ahead and light’em up.”

It took Noel a minute to remember who Vanille was - goddessprayer, YunFangOldHag’s roommate. He still didn’t feel comfortable enough to use any of their names; he’d only come to join the L’CIE SQUAD guild after Eternalove had sent him a guild invite, and he’d only ever played solo up until then.

Sometimes he did light parties with Eternalove and DirectorHope, but that was only when no one else was online and the two of them were taking a break from college work. IdiotHero joined them sometimes in order to spend time with his girlfriend, seeing as he lived two timezones away while she was at school.

He picked up a lot from listening, but still felt like he didn’t know these people at all… which was kind of a shame, since they’d become his best friends other than Yeul and Caius. And Yeul didn’t count, being his sister and all.

SoldierSavior was right - they mowed down the smaller mobs with ease, and Noel was taken aback as always by how quickly DirectorHope could decimate mobs when he wasn’t holding up the party HP. Even he as a DPS-focus couldn’t compare.

“Lag?” YunFangOldHag inquired when he ended up casting Shell on her twice before the cavern that held the miniboss.

“As always,” he responded. “But only a little worse than back home.”

There was a beat of silence. “Wait a sec,” YunFangOldHag said. “You’ve got mic too? What the hell?”

_Shit._

_i’m in a cafe,_ Noel typed as a response.  _sorry, i dont want to be That Guy._

“That feel when you’re concerned about what people think of you,” she drawled. “You get over that.”

 **DirectorHope** : Stop bludgeoning memes.

“Yes, ma’am,” she said with considerable glee. “Sorry, ma’am. I’ll drop down and give you twenty, ma’am.”

“Why don’t you ever drop down and give  _me_ twen-” goddessprayer started saying, but was interrupted by both a chatbox ding and a fierce grunt from SoldierSavior.

 **AcePilot** : not another euphemism party!

“Don’t scar the old man,” IdiotHero said. “Alright, sis, we’re ready to groove.”

“I’m not your sister,” SoldierSavior growled, but she steered her character into the cavern anyway.

The fight was much easier than SoldierSavior’s explanations had made it sound; though, unfortunately, goddessprayer spent much of the battle kiting and pulling Hecaton, as she nicknamed it, along all around the borders of the map. Thankfully their abilities were all auto-lock, even some of the more powerful AoE spells in DirectorHope’s arsenal.

In comparison the second leg of the dungeon was a cakewalk, even the puzzle involving the Dreadnoughts; DirectorHope cracked that one in seconds, and SoldierSavior apologized for not remembering it from her last run even though she remembered nearly everything else about the dungeon.

 **DirectorHope** : Honestly, Light.  
**DirectorHope** : We’re already flying through this raid at twice the speed because of your notes. There’s no reason to beat yourself up over a stupid detail.

Noel felt a pang of  _something_ when SoldierSavior unleashed a resigned sigh into the microphone; it was already obvious that she had a sweet spot for him, perhaps one even to rival the one she had for her sister, Eternalove, but he still found himself chewing his tongue, fingers poised over the keyboard to type - something, he didn’t know what.

 **lasthunter** : we got this

He didn’t know what that was meant to accomplish, but it was some offer of solidarity, he supposed. She wasn’t the only one in this party.

 **DirectorHope** : We’re a team, Light.

“Alright, alright, I get it,” she said. “No hard feelings and all that. Come on, they’ll wipe without us.”

The other corner of the chatbox flashed. Noel clicked open the PM box.

 **DirectorHope [PM to lasthunter]** : Thanks, Noel.

DirectorHope remembered his name? He’d only ever said it, like, twice. He hadn’t played with a mic on in the heavy party enough for people to start calling him by anything but his display name.

 **lasthunter [PM to DirectorHope]** : well, like you said. were a team.  
**DirectorHope [PM to lasthunter]** : Still, thanks. She can be standoffish at times  
**lasthunter [PM to DirectorHope]** : yeah, i got that feeling

Noel continued flipping back and forth through the windows as they continued the raid; it took some fancy keypresses, but once he started using Tab to switch between enemy selection and the chatbox selection, it became second nature to send a message between attacks.

DirectorHope was considerably slower, being the party healer and all.

 **lasthunter [PM to DirectorHope]** : are you two close?  
**DirectorHope [PM to lasthunter]** : Yeah, Light’s my best friend  
**DirectorHope [PM to lasthunter]** : I met her and Snow when I got into high school  
**lasthunter [PM to DirectorHope]** : oh, thats cool  
**lasthunter [PM to DirectorHope]** : so you guys live in the same area?  
**DirectorHope [PM to lasthunter]** : No, actually I go to school in the same city Serah does, we meet up for coffee sometimes  
**lasthunter [PM to DirectorHope]** : and talk about me??? ((:

Noel’s hands froze above his keyboard.  _Why did I just type that?_ It was meant as a joke, but every second it went without a response made him even more nervous as to how it would be construed.

“Hey, asshole, we’re in a fight here,” YunFangOldHag said to him, doing a /punch action against his character. Noel shook himself out of it.

 _lag,_ he offered to the party chatbox as an excuse, but he was all too aware of the straight-up lie it was.

Two fights later, his response came in the form of a ding and a message.

 **DirectorHope [PM to lasthunter]** : Lol, sometimes. Always bad things

His relieved sigh was embarrassing.

 **lasthunter [PM to DirectorHope]** : dont worry  
**lasthunter [PM to DirectorHope]** : i talk shit about you guys all the time  
**DirectorHope [PM to lasthunter]** : Sure you do

He let the private message thread go, SoldierSavior’s warning about the oncoming boss taking precedence. Apparently they didn’t really need to _beat_ Atomos, just survive long enough to take the Quick-Time Event prompt, but it was still important that his attention wasn’t divided.

DirectorHope seemed to feel the same way - though Noel kept half an eye on both chatboxes during the fight, nothing came his way in terms of notifications at all.

About a third of the way through the endurance battle, or so well as he could judge, a veritable… mob… of mobs popped out of the walls - so went his luck that three Puddings were facing him down, and he didn’t have any offensive magic spells equipped.

Unwilling to switch targets from his enemies to the chatbox to ask for help, lest he leave himself prone, he watched the rest of the party move slowly away from his targets, and watched IdiotHero’s health bar jump around a few times as DirectorHope tried his best to keep him alive.

He couldn’t even lift a hand to adjust his slipping earbuds, so necessary was it that his timing was precise; he was sure working that one mediocre Cure spell he’d put on his hotbar to its limit, and he was running out of mana fast even when using the combo that restored mana as a passive effect.

“ _Shit,”_ came the flagrant declaration - DirectorHope’s voice over the mic. “Vanille, heal him - Noel’s pinned and outmatched, I’ll be right back.”

A heartbeat later he became aware of the earbuds resting on his collarbone, when he swallowed and they moved against him.  _But Hope had just -_

DirectorHope was coming to his rescue on screen with a potent Blizzaga and he found a moment to turn and peek over the booth.

The guy from earlier was still sitting there. His tongue poked out between his lips as his fingers clacked across his keyboard in quick succession; but he seemed to feel a pair of eyes upon him, as he lowered his hands and looked up, mouth opening to deliver some prepared words.

While the silver sheen of his hair was already attention-grabbing, Noel dropped his guard at his eyes - the color of the Gulf of Mexico in bright sunlight.

“Thanks,  _ma’am_ ,” were the first words that came to mind, and while he cursed them, there was still nothing quite like the way his eyes went wide faster than Noel had ever seen anyone do before.

“Oi! Where did you two  _go?”_ he could hear YunFangOldHag yelling through the guy’s earbuds. “Hit A  _now_ or we’re leaving you here!”

The Quick-Time Event flashed on-screen and Noel mashed the A key just in time to take it, falling back onto his ass in his booth as the screen went black.

 **lasthunter** : lag  
**DirectorHope** : Lag.

So that’s how he wanted to play it. Noel smirked to himself. “Man, really hate the  _lag_ in this here  _cafe,_ huh, ma’am?” he said over the mic.

 **DirectorHope** : Your face is distracting.

“Wait,  _what?”_  IdiotHero said just as the rewards screen popped up.

Wasting no time, DirectorHope voted  _pass_ on all of the chest items, leaving them to the rest of the party to sift through as he, with only a quick message as farewell, quit the party and logged.

 **DirectorHope** : Gotta go

“The hell’s gotten into _him_?” YunFangOldHag said, which was the last thing Noel caught before he, too, quit and logged.

It didn’t matter. Even the second of hesitation was long enough for the guy to be standing over him and his table as soon as he closed his laptop.

Noel had to say, DirectorHope looked different than he had imagined. He hadn’t been sure what he had imagined, but… it was  _different,_ alright?

For one thing, his silver hair matched his character’s. And the guy was… much taller than he’d seemed sitting down, probably near exactly his height.

Perhaps the greatest thing to throw him for a loop was his aura, though - there was something commanding about his presence, and Noel had imagined something - meek, maybe?

But then again, it all seemed to  _fit_ him, as he looked up at the guy who played the best damn mage he’d ever seen, went to college and had coffee dates with their guildmate where they talked shit about him all the time.

“Hey,” Noel said, for lack of anything else to say.

“Hey,” Hope said back. “Is it okay if I sit here?”

 


End file.
